Losing Myself in Motherhood and I Like it!

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As our youngest baby turned 2 years old, the conversation with my husband seemed to open up about wanting another baby. Was the timing right? Was it the right fit for our family?

I thought about all of these things a lot and wanted to talk to someone else besides my husband about it. I excitedly told my single friend about the conversation and she quickly responded with disapproval. I shut down. I felt so embarrassed and foolish from her response (even though I was talking about babies with my childless friend), but I LOVE being a mom.

My husband and I love babies. Before we dated, you would always find us helping other parents with their infants. We are just baby people! When my husband and I got married, it was the obvious choice for us to have a baby right away.

losing myself

A couple years later, we had another.

losing myself

Our lives have drastically changed since becoming a family of 4. There are no spontaneous dates or road trips.

There is MUCH LESS money.

Spanx are my best friend.

Concealer and tinted balm are my go-to’s.

Our furniture and household items are not straight from the department store.

My home has consistent fighting, tears and crayon on my walls and furniture.

We have less time, more pressure and some days I barely can breathe.

losing myself

Where there is loss, there is gain. Those little giggles in the morning make my heart soar. The body I hated for so long has created my greatest accomplishments. My stretch marks, pooch, and loose skin remind of the times I created life within me. I’m falling in love all over again with my husband as I see him bravely put on a strong face to play with our girls after a long day working outside in the sun. I live to hear those squeals of excitement when I tell my girls that we’re going to their favorite places.

Motherhood has changed everything about me. I love the person I’ve become. I am stronger, sensible and sillier. I am thinking of myself less and not stressing about the small stuff. I can’t even recognize the person I was before my girls and I like it.

losing myself

Do you feel the same about yourself?

2 COMMENTS

  1. I used to feel this way before Over time I’ve lost that part of it, might be because I’m entering a new cycle in my mommyhood. The no more babies part. It’s sad, I’m sad that my body will no longer create life. But at the same time, I love being a mom and I would never change it. I was made to be a mommy. And I keep telling myself as my daughter enters her teenage years. AHH! Lol

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