Passionate About San Diego
and the Moms Who Live Here

Adult Bonding 101: How to Spark Friendship or Love in 3 Easy Steps

Yes, ‘adult bonding’ is a thing! As we get older it seems more difficult to make new friends or find love interests. But it doesn’t have to be, if you have a plan and a little insight.
Because of a breakup or new baby or new job, you may be at a new stage in life, leaving the adult bonds of old friendships and significant others to become obsolete. Or maybe you have moved to a new town or neighborhood. Maybe you have been consumed by your family and work responsibilities and let your adult relationships wane. 
So much can get in the way of BONDING when you are an adult! 
adult bonding

Not to worry, because through my own experiences and that of others I have discovered the SECRET to adult bonding. REALLY!

Over time, I noticed a pattern for forming adult bonds and I hope you can benefit from my sharing it with you.

Adult Bonding 101

1. Pick a target and take a risk…

Sometimes our next new friend or love is hiding in plain sight. Sometimes we have to seek out a new pool of prospects by taking a class or participating in a community service project or attending a special event, or whatever suits your passions. But, go alone and go to things where others go alone. Then pick a target and start a conversation. is a great place to find new things to do.

Do not limit your prospects to people like you. 

adult bonding

Tres Equis – Me and my friend X.. no really, that’s his nickname.

I have an eclectic mix of friends of all ages, both male and female, both with kids and without, both married and single, all because I took a risk on someone different than me. My long-time friend Barb is a perfect example.  She is single. I am married. She has a child 10 years younger than my youngest. She is blond and beautiful and I am a greying brunette who wears no makeup and often forgets to comb my hair. friends

We were both part of our work friends group, often at the same meetups, but we just never connected in the group setting. One night she mentioned a Julia Child restaurant event and since cooking is my thing, I jumped in and invited myself along. RISKY for sure, but she was open to adding another to their dinner party of three. We discovered we lived near each other so we drove together. 

The dinner was very nice and rather uneventful, but when we broke away from the group, the Adult Bonding magic happened… which leads me to step 2.

2. Pick a NEW activity (or stumble into one) and develop a common unique connection…

I love when I see the question posted, “What do you recommend for a first date?” because the answer is soooooooo easy.

Do something neither of you has ever done before! 

adult bonding

The common, yet unique experience you share will be between the two of you and with no one else…  instant adult bonding! 

After the Julia Child dinner, Barb and I decided to stop and get a drink at a bar both of us had been to, but always with our friends group. Familiar yes, but what happened at the bar and the rest of the evening neither of us planned or could have planned. And, that leads to step 3.

3. Reinforce your new Adult Bond…

Reinforce your connection by reminiscing about your bonding experience together and plan new ones!

Don’t let your new friend or love interest get away! 

Without going into the crazy details of our evening, Barb and I bonded over a unique experience neither of us had ever had before with anyone else. From that moment on we made plans to do things together on a regular basis.  She has become one of my closest friends.

Adult bonding takes a bit of effort or a bit of randomness, but keeping your eyes open to the possibilities and knowing a little bit about what creates a bond can help fill your life with new friendships or a new love interest.

Our San Diego Moms Blog group of women is awesome! Offering so many opportunities to meet other moms, I encourage all of you San Diego Moms to come to one of our MOMS events or get involved with one of our online groups (book club, Whole 30 or San Diego Coffee Moms). Be brave and come alone or post a comment in one of our groups, where you may typically be a lurker. What could possibly go right!?!!?

So, who do you have in your sights?  Tag them on facebook or Instagram or Twitter or wherever you find this post!

What different ideas do you have for meetups to create an adult bond with your new prospect?  Share in the comments!


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