I’m a mom. I’m supposed to hold my stuff together and have a brave face, but I can’t. I’m admitting it….I’m scared.
Between the deaths of innocents with cop violence, or last night’s violence on the police, the terrorism at home or the suspected terrorism….the race for President, even!!! I am completely uneasy…I am scared.
I’m a MOM. I brought a life into this world. I am responsible for this little life! I am trying to teach her wrong from right. I am trying to teach her that she has the power to change the world for good. It’s hard when all you see is fear, negativity, and fighting. I know it’s just a weak moment, but I am admitting that I am cracking. Last night’s news after all day of reading my feed of such sadness, just left my brain spinning.
Is this time any worse then the Vietnam days? Is the protests and violence beyond that of Martin Luther King’s walks? Am I just telling myself that it really is just our generation’s struggles just to make myself feel better? Or is this really just seeming that much worse because we are unable to avoid the negativity? We have televisions everywhere. We have our social feeds in our hand. It’s SO hard to avoid.
I don’t know if it’s the up to the minute reporting as opposed to fact checking and the constant fill of all this sadness and negativity on my social media feeds, especially on Facebook? Can I blame social media, or is this truly the world we are living in? Can we change our out look on this life if we change our feeds? Fill it with positivity and love, instead of the pain and violence of today. Can we remove hate speech from our vocabulary? Is this just me being naive?
I am blessed, I have a strong faith and I believe there is something positive and loving on the other side of life and that should bring me comfort if my time is coming, right? Instead, I am still fearing and not open to an “End of Times” of a biblical portion. My faith should be comforting in this, right? I am going to be honest. I am NOT ok with lives of any form ending even with any God ready for them. I know this sounds Utopian, but I want us all here, in love and awe.
Don’t mistake my admitting my fears as me giving up! The world is scary, no matter which way we paint it, but we must push to make it better! We can be the moment of love. Moment of positivity. That ONE smiling face to make a difference.
I’m not going to give up.
I am strong in admitting my fear, and I won’t let it defeat me. Don’t let it defeat you. Let’s be the love the world needs.