A few weeks ago I was hit with a big case of Mom GUILT!
Ugh! You know that one right?
It creeps in slowly during the day, when you can’t seem to catch up with life and you end up picking up the kids at school 15 minutes late. Or it jumps out at you, as you finally sit down to have your coffee and then remember whatever it is you needed to send to school: a permission slip, $5 for lunch or WHATEVER!
All of a sudden it sinks into your heart, the GUILT, the doubt.
Mom confession time.
A few weeks ago I was surprised when my teen was on her phone WAY past her bedtime. If you have a teen, need I go further? I asked for the phone and I was met with resistance, I was challenged. Oh boy! Needless to say this didn’t go very well, and I kind of lost it on her. My mother’s voice literally came out of my mouth as I started speaking in Spanish to her and I caught myself thinking “What in the world is my mom doing in this conversation?”
After all was said and done I was exhausted, sad and mentally drained. I sat up in my bed crying my eyes out wondering, “how could I have lost it so badly?”
Guilt settled into my heart. At this very moment I felt like the worst mother on earth!
I never once considered how awful mom guilt could be. It tugs at your soul and makes you doubt yourself.
I can’t swaddle my baby I’m a terrible mother
My kid isn’t crawling, walking, talking, (insert anything in here) when he/she is suppose to, what am I doing wrong?
I yelled at my kid to put her shoes on and she cried, I’ve just secured her trip to the psychiatrist!
My teen said she hates me, I’m really a horrible mom
My toddler ate gummies for lunch
I don’t play outdoors with my kids
I forgot to make Valentine’s Day cards for his class
I yell too much!
I am pretty sure that I’m not the only one who’s thought or said these things.
But, guess what? I’m not a horrible mom. I’m actually a pretty normal one. You are too. Mom guilt is like cancer in our parenting walk. If you catch early, you better cut it out! It’s detrimental to our psyche, our health and our hearts.
Give yourself grace. We aren’t perfect, nobody gave us A Complete Guide to Perfect Mommy Parenting book. We love our kids and they know it, we show it to them on the daily basis. We kiss them goodbye, and give them extra hugs when they don’t feel well. Give them yet another band-aid for the tiny little paper cut they had three days ago. Or make their favorite chocolate sandwich for lunch.
We clean, shop, drive, cook, sew, hug, teach…and yes, discipline.
We do it all with love. On those occasions when we have a bad day,
lose it… give yourself GRACE! Remember that nobody is expecting you to be perfect, therefore you shouldn’t either.
As far as my teen and I, after a few days of sulking in mom-guilt… I finally gave myself some MOM-grace. I got up and continued to show her, that while I’m not perfect, I love her no matter what.