Hey you! I am talking to you. You, mom, right there. I see you. I know you, all about you. And guess what? I get it. And its okay. I appreciate you.
I see you wake up everyday, either by an alarm, a screaming baby or kids fighting. Usually way too early, after going to bed way too late, or waking up 3 times during the night. Always exhausted.
I hear you struggling trying to get up, and get yourself ready. Then the kids, having to redirect them 10 times in 30 minutess to make sure they get dressed (appropriately), brush their hair, brush their teeth, have their backpack and homework and aren’t late! I know that feeling- all before you have even had your coffee.
Then you WORK, all day. And work may be at home or outside. But its work, none the less. I see you spending those 8 to 10 hours working, running around, accomplishing tasks all day. You are taking orders from little dictators or big bosses. You start the day and end the day without everything done, because there will always be more work tomorrow. You rarely hear praise, but you continue to do what you have to do, because you have no other choice. The job needs to be done and you are the one there to do it.
But then the afternoon comes and you continue the grind, I see you there. Did you even stop to eat? Make sure you get some water. But hurry up, more work to do. Now its the afternoon slump, the what? You never even looked at the clock, you just kept going, you can’t sit down. You are too tired to get back up. So on, an on, you go.
The evening fast approaches, time to get dinner ready. You lead the army. You teach, you direct. You walk the tight rope of teaching them life skills, responsibility and making the best use of time so you can ALL, finally, sit down and be together. But that’s the ideal. I see you, I hear you, I understand the battle cries. The refusals to redirection, the constant back talk and reasoning. You aren’t being unreasonable, you are being fair. And guess what kids? LIFE ISN’T FAIR. Life is work and you are working hard. You are the glue that holds them together. You make everything flow, I see you. I understand. But its hard.
And then the husband comes home, if he exists. But I see that he is the “fun parent”. I see him in the shower while you are finishing dinner or helping with homework or packing lunches. I see you, and yet they argue and they whine and they cry. And so do you. But still you go on. Because who will do it if you don’t?
And then he chooses what “work” he wants to do, after his “hard” day at the office. Maybe you are working on your side jobs/projects, now getting the kids showered, teeth brushed, backpacks ready, homework’s finally done. And kids in bed… Hopefully.
I can see he’s ” working”. Maybe its the yard or his car or the garage. But I also see he never asks, what YOU need help with. I see you, I understand. All you want is to be SEEN, to be HEARD, to be UNDERSTOOD. I would like to wrap my arms around you and give you the best hug. I would like to ask you, ” how can I help you?” I would like to make those kids understand your strength, your wisdom, your care and concern. I would like for once, for you to sit down and be the “fun parent”.
And I know how tired you are. I know, despite all your efforts, it will continue to be hard. I see you. I appreciate you. And maybe it will get harder. But you are making it. Don’t let this break you down. You are awesome, strong and creating future powerful, strong, smart and intelligent, compassionate adults. They wont necessarily see it now, but they will. They will see how hard you worked for them.
They will remember how long it took you to sit down at night. I see you, I understand you, I appreciate you.
You continue to inspire me, keep up the great work. You are strong, you are brave, you are amazing… I appreciate you.