Motherhood is hard.
Anybody that says it isn’t is clearly mistaken.
But when you add a mental illness to the mix, it’s a hundred times harder. I can attest to that. I’ve struggled with generalized anxiety disorder for years and I thought I finally had it somewhat under control… until I became a mom.
Once motherhood came along, my anxiety increased tenfold.
I was now responsible for this precious little human being, and I was so scared that I would fail as a mother. I’d find myself worrying about EVERYTHING.
Is he getting enough sleep?
Is he eating enough?
Am I producing enough milk for him?
Is he reaching his milestones on time?
Am I doing enough?
All of these questions were constantly in my head and would just eat me up inside. It got to the point where a panic attack would come along. I wouldn’t be able to function when I had my attacks and I knew that it wasn’t good for my son to be around that. I knew I needed to get help again not just for my own sake but for the sake of my son.
After a few months, I was able to get my anxiety under control again. I started seeing a new therapist in my area and finding different ways to cope. I still have those days where it does get the best of me, but that’s ok. We all get those days, especially with motherhood, but at least I can handle it a lot better than previously before.
I know that there are a lot of moms out there that are dealing with the same thing I am. As cliché as it sounds, just remember you’re not alone.
You’re not the only mom feeling this way and that’s perfectly OK. It doesn’t make you any less of a good mom. I encourage you to get help whether it be professionally, just talking to your spouse or friend, or even taking up a self-care routine. You’re not only helping yourself, but your little human too, and that should be reason enough.